Who is Saint Patty and What Did She Do to Saint Patrick?

As I take my first steps outside today, other than the lingering 2 feet of snow, I notice the smell of potatoes and think to myself "Oh YES, it is Saint Patty's day again."  Then I consider the thought that crossed my mind and here I am left wondering why our obese world has to abreviate the name Patrick.  Is it really that hard?  Are people simply saving their breath for bigger and better things such as the mindless gossip they feed off of throughout the day?  Or could it be a reason much less obvious?  Possibly, as Americans, we feel guilty because a holiday we happen to celebrate by harrassing friends and coworkers for not wearing green, drinking overpriced green beer til we can't even walk straight and possibly even driving home afterwards is named for a real Saint.  Of a Church.  An institution who frowns upon such behavior.  And isn't Patty a woman's name?!  Maybe it's a result of my youth watching endless episodes of Doug, but Patty is a girl's name, and Saint Patrick isn't a female.  Maybe, just maybe we call it Saint Patty's day because we aren't praying to the same God up in the clouds that we're accustomed to, but rather the porcelin God right in front of our faces as we curiously find out that our puke is the same odd green as the beer that went into our stomachs.  And so, there it is... We can no longer call it Saint Patrick's day because it has evolved, through the Irish tradition of binge drinking, into a holiday used to celebrate the ability to celebrate(and puke funny collors).  I myself will not be partaking in the tradition of praying to the porcelin God, no... Tomorrow is my birthday, forever overshadowed by the holiday preceding it, I would rather not wake up to an ungodly hangover on the 20th anniversary of my birth.  But I wish all of those who would like to subject their bodies to such torture tonight the best luck and I will write again tomorrow.