As The Smoke Rolls Up Into The Sky

20 years of life...

Most would see it as a time of celebration and excitement; they would walk around as if they were a new person.  Officially, I've been in this forsaken world for 20 years.  Rather than jumping up for joy, my mind instead decides to ponder what I've accomplished in 20 years.  Zilch.  If that were a number, zilch would represent the total accomplishments, the number of notches I can proudly wear upon my belt.  Not that it has all been pointless, but I just don't see the point in stopping to celebrate the existence of time.  It'll pass whether I acknowledge it or not, and all urges in my mind tell me that such time would be wasted to relish in its existence.  I hear people all around me talking of growing up to do bigger and better things.  I just don't see the point.  If one were to take into account the meaning of all human existence, we are yet but another animal out into the wilderness.  We joined hands in order to make life easier for each other and to join forces against the stoic laws of nature that lie in front of our faces.  With even the slightest observation, it is obvious that we've done the exact opposite.  

We've imprisoned ourselves in this realm that we call society; a society that commands us to compete rather than help.  Phil Collins strikes the cord on its head when discussing the human's uncanny desire to place each other among ranks:

"She calls out to the man on the street
sir, can you help me? 
Its cold and Ive nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me? 
He walks on, doesnt look back
He pretends he cant hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there"

To many (often much older than myself) this combination of words, of symbols seems discernibly recognizable.  These are words from a song that the very culture that I write to today once cherished as its own.  But where is the line drawn between words or symbols and real life?  As sad as it sounds, these words capture a scene not impossible and even common in our world.  If we banded together to make life easier, to pool resources, what is the problem with helping this young woman;  sharing resources?  

I often find myself placing everything in the world within a ranking system.  We, as humans travel along like ants:  bumping antennae wit each other and flowing through a world that we perceive to be black and white.  Will that be cash or credit, paper or plastic, rich or poor... even democrat or republican(liberal or conservative for those who wish to kid themselves).  We're trapped within this maze of loneliness and obsession searching for a piece of cheese that will never exist.  Labels labels labels placing us upon a hierachy telling us what we can do and what we can't do.  Forget it, or shall I say refuse to remember it and tell the world, nay, prove to the world that you are capable of seeing the bigger picture.

You are nothing, none of us are anything.  In today's day and age, we are nothing but a number.  Another head of lettuce upon the chopping block.  That is, unless you do something to change that.  Release yourself from this prison, this grave you have dug for yourself and that everyone else around has dug for you and make a name for yourself.  Rather than moving up and down on the ladder of life, just side to side and maybe you'll find that you're relation to the ground has no significance whatsoever.  Maybe you'll find that the meaning of life is not to end up the richest, the meaning of life does not rely on your popularity or lack thereof.  Instead, maybe you'll find that the meaning of life lies outside the barriers of conventional thought.  I shouldn't be sitting here celebrating the 20th anniversary of my life, but I should be making an impression on the lives around me.  Sharing my resources in attempt to receive some back.  I should be celebrating the existence of that lady on the street.  I should be trading her my life savings for the possible advice that she can provide.  I have no need to place myself among the ladder of society, but yet, share my spot with those less fortunate, or rather jumping to their ladder and helping sturdy it.  Life is often confused with that of what we've been programmed to think is the resources in which we have to offer.  You aren't a computer though, you're a human.  Take advantage of this group that we've created over the past thousands of years and prove to the world that it can be done.

"As the pattern gets more intricate and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough,"

From your fellow compadre in that battle against the cheese,

Lemon